Those Were the Days – Guest Post by Cortny
Is it just me, or do you suddenly wish you had been born in the early 1900’s whenever you hear your grandparents or other elderly people talk about their days of youth? I love listening to my Grama Sandy talk about growing up in the 40’s and 50’s. She gets an undeniable glow when she talks of dating my Papa Terry. My favorite story is when he joined the Air Force and gave my Grama a 45 with the song “You Are My Love” by Joni James on it before he left for base. I always picture their relationship as pure and simple romance.
Oh how I wish I could have grown up then. I picture women in skirts and lovely dresses, wearing red lipstick, with curled hair and feminine dispositions. The men are well-groomed in properly fit clothing, with mischievous grins and an admiration and respect for the women around them. Joy was found in Friday night dances downtown or neighborhood get-togethers. For some reason I just get this warm, happy feeling whenever I hear mention of those days. It’s as though romance was just floating in the air.
Wouldn’t it be great if things could be like that today? Everything is moving so fast. It’s scary. Why don’t we all just collectively decide to slow things down, or even rewind to greater days? I think, most of all, I would have liked to be able to date in those times. Ahh, old-fashioned romance. Young men pursuing the ladies, giving them the utmost respect and performing small gestures to show their interest. Walking her home from school, carrying her books, or buying her a soda downtown. First dates were exciting and entailed dressing to the nines, a night on the town with dancing and long walks. The young men fearing her father who was sitting on the porch waiting for him to have her home safe and on time. And after parting for the night, the suspense of the next encounter was enough to give them butterflies until then.
In a perfect world, dating would follow the same suit today. (I know relationships weren’t perfect back then. There was definitely a fair share of indecency, but everything was more discrete. No cell phones, Facebook, internet, or email.) There would be more excitement and butterflies from the lack of constant communication. We would get nervous before dates and be giddy the whole time because our time together was precious. Young men would speak with respect and kindness, and ladies would be dainty and modest.
It seems today there is no mystery. A lot of women wear tacky, revealing clothing and many guys aren’t much better. It makes me sad to think about it. But you know what, I think it’s totally possible to keep the old-fashioned aspect alive in dating today. And here’s how…
Ladies:
1.) Get dressed up more often. Instead of jeans and a sweatshirt, try a cute skirt with a pair of tights or a sundress in the summer.
2.) Be more feminine. Watch your tongue and don’t get sucked into your man’s masculine banter. If he wanted to date one of his buddies, he probably wouldn’t be with you.
3.) Let him pursue you. At the end of the day wouldn’t you love to know that no matter how well you played hard to get, he fought it out and won you over because he wants to be with you that badly?
4.) Be a mystery. Keep some parts of your life to yourself and don’t spill every single thought that’s rolling around in your head. Also, button up a few more buttons on your shirt or wear capris instead of shorts. Drive him crazy by keeping him guessing. Boredom can be detrimental to any relationship.
5.) Be classy. I’m sorry but I think a lot of ladies today lack class. Make a man notice you because of the things you don’t do or expose. Be a lady.
Gentlemen:
1.) Treat her like a lady. She’s not just one of the guys, so make sure she never feels like one of them. Ladies are tender and would rather be kissed on the forehead than patted on the leg. Respect her.
2.) Be persistent. Remember, ladies want to be pursued. Don’t be afraid to show your interest, and don’t give up the first time she doesn’t call you back or says no to a date.
3.) Take things slow. We’re young and don’t need to be in a hurry to get anywhere. Get to know her, ask her for her number, and do the little things. Keep her guessing too.
4.) A phone call means so much more than a text message. I know we live in the world of Facebook, IM, and text communication, but keep it old-fashioned by choosing to communicate through talking instead of typing.
5.) Music is the best way to a woman’s heart (at least I think so). And I mean music, not the noise that we hear on the radio today. Get dressed up and go dancing to classical music. Listen to Frank Sinatra over dinner, or try to dance the mambo like Johnny and Baby. (This one might be a stretch for guys…I know that. But in a perfect world…).
Ladies and Gentlemen…
1.) Respect their parents. It’s great to get along, but never get too comfortable with them.
2.) Don’t fall into the trap of hanging out every night. This can end up being a deep rut that is hard to undo. Keep it interesting with more space and less routine.
3.) Keep each other on your toes. Play a little hard to get even after you’ve been dating for a while.
So there you have it. I know society says keep moving forward, but why not keep some of the best parts of the past alive today. We don’t have to transform every aspect of our dating lives to what it was like back then, but I think keeping these ideas in mind would lead to great possibilities. I’m a dreamer and I choose to believe that greatness can be found or created in any situation. It may not be for everyone, but if you’re willing then give it a try and see how you like it. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed! :)
*Pictures taken from Flickr and google.com
