Monday, November 8, 2010

On the future and photography

“My business is to create. It doesn’t even matter what you do.”

This quote has been stuck in my mind a lot recently.  The quote comes from a scene in the movie P.S. I Love You when Gerry first meets Holly.  In this scene, she is explaining her passion to create things, art, anything.  


Lately, all I want to do is create too.  In classes that I am supposed to be interested in, I find myself playing with photoshop or looking up photography things.  For a class project, I felt that I could contribute by making the brochure much more than creating the business plan.  My dad always told me (including in my college and career) to never forget or deny my creative side.  Going into college and since being in college, I never have given much thought to art as anything more than a hobby.  Jobs are not sustainable with an art degree.  I told myself that I have to do something practical with my life.  Recently, I've been very fulfilled with photography.  Actually, I've always got much joy from photography.  However, I am not sure of it's role in my life.  I am a interested, passionate amateur with much to learn and understand.  I know this for sure.  Also, this is the first time that I don't feel a) totally mediocre at something (I usually am) and b) something I can spend hours and hours learning more about and so driven and passionate about becoming better.  Sure,  a lot of times I have things I am interested in, but usually the interest comes and goes in spurts or only lasts for a small duration.  Actually, its a great experience for me, because I  never could understand how my sister could be so excited about running 12 miles or about buying a new pair of running shoes.  To me, buying a slave flash brings the same giddy and obsessive feelings.  This is when I knew it wasn't a run of the mill type of interest.  


Anyways, here is what I do know:
1) Creating/making/art is a true passion.  Not just something I say I am passionate about on a B.S. admissions essay.  Something I can't let go of.  Something I believe in.  
2) Keeping it as a hobby is comfortable. Getting paid for it brings a whole other element that I'm not sure I want (ie responsibility, business aspect).  Am I meant to only be a mom who takes excellent pictures of her children? 
3) I am such a amateur, novice, inexperienced enthusiast.  
4) I am leaving this up to God to show me the way, even if I am not ready for the answer...but am willing.  Lately, new jobs have been presenting themselves.  I don't know if that's God already showing me.  
Any thoughts, guidance?  I am willing and open.  


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